Today, Adam and I stopped at McDonald's and got some lunch and decided to go to the park to eat. It's been one of those first fall days, where the temperature is about 70 in the sun, but a stiff wind blowing makes it about 50 in the shade.
We went to the area right beside Becky's old apartment. When we got out of the car and sat at a picnic table, we could look over to the left and see the apt. where she used to live.
As we sat there eating, we saw the ducks across the pond, huddled around a car, quacking at the top of their lungs. Soon, the car left, and the ducks looked around and saw us at the table, so they jumped in the pond and began swimming toward us as fast as they could. Two of them waddled up the bank toward us, and Adam threw a part of his bun on the ground in front of us. The ducks had a great time gobbling it down.
As we sat there enjoying the day and watching the ducks, I suddenly grew so sad, and my eyes filled with tears, thinking of Becky. I told Adam, that it wasn't fair that she couldn't be there to enjoy the day with us, for it was the kind of day she loved. I hope heaven has beautiful fall days for her to enjoy. I will always consider those ducks, hers, for she had to put up with them for all the years she lived in that apt.
So many things thru out the day remind me of her. She was so much a part of us that I can't get thru the hours without thinking of her. I'm thinking of all the things that she won't be doing down here and not the things she may be doing up there. Things have slowed down a little and so now the dark clouds have time to gather . I am just waiting for time to pass in hopes that the pain will lessen with it's passing, for I know it will never be completely gone. Still I am thankful for the time we had together and proud she was my daughter.My love for you will always be the same Becky, no matter what side of life you are on. With the deepest love, Mom.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
My Little Girl
I had a little girl
An angel in disguise
She had a perfect smile
And a twinkle in her eyes
But she went away to heaven
To live forever more
And I must wait to see her
Till I cross that Blessed shore.
Missing you lots, Becky non, love mom
An angel in disguise
She had a perfect smile
And a twinkle in her eyes
But she went away to heaven
To live forever more
And I must wait to see her
Till I cross that Blessed shore.
Missing you lots, Becky non, love mom
Monday, September 6, 2010
No Tears.
There are a lot of things in heaven that I am excited about. No more death. Yaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!
No need of money, no more burdens, heartaches or worries. A mansion to live in. All my loved ones gathered about.
But, after the last week, I think the one that says, "No More Tears," is my favorite. I have cried so many tears, that I thought they might all be gone and I'll never be able to shed another one. But, not so. Each time I dwell on my Becky's life and all the good things about her, they are right there in a mighty abundance. My glasses have permanent stains on them. I have become accustomed to looking around spots.
God said He would bottle them up for me and I'm wondering what kind of huge container He has for that purpose.
I used to think all that crying was not a good thing, but I now realize that I have had so many wonderful times with her, and so many wonderful moments shared together that I will have many more tears to give up. The tears are for the fact that I won't be able to have any more on this earth and that makes me sad, and also for the joy of having so many to remember.
I am thankful that our love was like a deep well, and thus it holds much joy, which in turn renders many tears.It is a great thing to know each tear stands for a joy we shared. So, nose and eyes, be prepared, there will be many more tears ahead. And that is not a bad thing.
Waiting for the day I will see you again and then all my tears will be gone forever.
No need of money, no more burdens, heartaches or worries. A mansion to live in. All my loved ones gathered about.
But, after the last week, I think the one that says, "No More Tears," is my favorite. I have cried so many tears, that I thought they might all be gone and I'll never be able to shed another one. But, not so. Each time I dwell on my Becky's life and all the good things about her, they are right there in a mighty abundance. My glasses have permanent stains on them. I have become accustomed to looking around spots.
God said He would bottle them up for me and I'm wondering what kind of huge container He has for that purpose.
I used to think all that crying was not a good thing, but I now realize that I have had so many wonderful times with her, and so many wonderful moments shared together that I will have many more tears to give up. The tears are for the fact that I won't be able to have any more on this earth and that makes me sad, and also for the joy of having so many to remember.
I am thankful that our love was like a deep well, and thus it holds much joy, which in turn renders many tears.It is a great thing to know each tear stands for a joy we shared. So, nose and eyes, be prepared, there will be many more tears ahead. And that is not a bad thing.
Waiting for the day I will see you again and then all my tears will be gone forever.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Saying Goodbye
My precious baby girl, Rebecca Mignon went home to heaven on August 28,2010. She was 39 years old.
She spent the last 13 days of her life in Grant Medical Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, undergoing all kinds of tests. The first week there, we were told she had pancreatic cancer. They were planning on sending her home. With chemo , we were told she could have a year to live. The second week, her kidneys failed and her liver stopped producing proteins. She died on Saturday. Our pastor said that God showed her mercy even in death, because what kind of life would that year have been. She suffered horrible back pain.
The one thing that haunts me is, where she couldn't have anything to eat most of the time we were there because of the tests. She would beg for food and I wanted to give her some so bad.
We had to say good-bye to Granny Brown on July 26,2010, also. Becky was down there on her birthday. We thought she was having kidney stone problems then, and was pretty sick. Her aunt
Diana told cousin Lisa it was her b-day, and Lisa, who was headed to Wal-mart brought back helium balloons and gifts for all of us to give her. Lisa's gift was a gag one filled with prunes, rubber gloves, etc. ( Becky had impacted bowels from all the vicadin she had been taking). She enjoyed the small party we did for her.
Came home, and we had bought tickets for "Phantom" for Saturday (aug.14). She went to see Dr. Peck on thursday Aug. 12. He said he couldn't see the stone, but scheduled some surgery for Tues. the 17th. Said he would try to use a scope and go in that way, just because she was in so much pain. She had appt. with Dr. Sinha that same afternoon. He said he would look at the CAT scan one more time. He came back in room and told her something was wrong with the pancreas. Set up an appt for a surgeon on next Thursday.Sent her to Shelby Hosp. for blood work.
Friday, she was so sick she said she could not go to see "Phantom". Sold Andi Glass the ticket.Sat. morning Andi called said she had been sick all night and could not go with us.Told Beck and she said she was a little better and decided to go with us. She had a good time and told me once that she was excited to see the show again. Still pretty sick, but she carried on.
Monday morning called Dr. Sinha and said she could not wait till Thurs. He sent her to Ashland Hospital Emergency room. The ER doc. had the original CAT scan sent to him and told us that the "cyst" was really large and she needed to be referred to Grant or OSU. Which one can get me in first, she said. A squad came in 15 min. and took her to Grant, where she stayed for 13 days and died.
So now I have to say good-bye to her and Granny. One of the mom's of Adam's friends had become good friends with her. She sent a bouquet of flowers to the funeral. It had one red rose and one white rose that was just a bud in it.Pam told Heather that the red rose meant friendship and the white rose meant saying good-bye.
This morning the red rose looks the same, but the white rose bud has bloomed out and the petals are already starting to fall off. I guess she is saying good -bye to us too.
Be happy in heaven Beck ! We'll be there soon so save us a place next to you. Love forever Mom
She spent the last 13 days of her life in Grant Medical Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, undergoing all kinds of tests. The first week there, we were told she had pancreatic cancer. They were planning on sending her home. With chemo , we were told she could have a year to live. The second week, her kidneys failed and her liver stopped producing proteins. She died on Saturday. Our pastor said that God showed her mercy even in death, because what kind of life would that year have been. She suffered horrible back pain.
The one thing that haunts me is, where she couldn't have anything to eat most of the time we were there because of the tests. She would beg for food and I wanted to give her some so bad.
We had to say good-bye to Granny Brown on July 26,2010, also. Becky was down there on her birthday. We thought she was having kidney stone problems then, and was pretty sick. Her aunt
Diana told cousin Lisa it was her b-day, and Lisa, who was headed to Wal-mart brought back helium balloons and gifts for all of us to give her. Lisa's gift was a gag one filled with prunes, rubber gloves, etc. ( Becky had impacted bowels from all the vicadin she had been taking). She enjoyed the small party we did for her.
Came home, and we had bought tickets for "Phantom" for Saturday (aug.14). She went to see Dr. Peck on thursday Aug. 12. He said he couldn't see the stone, but scheduled some surgery for Tues. the 17th. Said he would try to use a scope and go in that way, just because she was in so much pain. She had appt. with Dr. Sinha that same afternoon. He said he would look at the CAT scan one more time. He came back in room and told her something was wrong with the pancreas. Set up an appt for a surgeon on next Thursday.Sent her to Shelby Hosp. for blood work.
Friday, she was so sick she said she could not go to see "Phantom". Sold Andi Glass the ticket.Sat. morning Andi called said she had been sick all night and could not go with us.Told Beck and she said she was a little better and decided to go with us. She had a good time and told me once that she was excited to see the show again. Still pretty sick, but she carried on.
Monday morning called Dr. Sinha and said she could not wait till Thurs. He sent her to Ashland Hospital Emergency room. The ER doc. had the original CAT scan sent to him and told us that the "cyst" was really large and she needed to be referred to Grant or OSU. Which one can get me in first, she said. A squad came in 15 min. and took her to Grant, where she stayed for 13 days and died.
So now I have to say good-bye to her and Granny. One of the mom's of Adam's friends had become good friends with her. She sent a bouquet of flowers to the funeral. It had one red rose and one white rose that was just a bud in it.Pam told Heather that the red rose meant friendship and the white rose meant saying good-bye.
This morning the red rose looks the same, but the white rose bud has bloomed out and the petals are already starting to fall off. I guess she is saying good -bye to us too.
Be happy in heaven Beck ! We'll be there soon so save us a place next to you. Love forever Mom
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