The Great Ice Cream Adventure

Ever since Adam started dating, I spend most of the evening hours by myself. Sometimes on Saturday evening one or both of the girls come over, but some of Becky's classmates were home this weekend and wanted to have supper together so she had plans and I hadn't heard from Heather today, so when Adam left about 6:30, I decided to go for a walk.
As I was getting my walking equipment ready( MP3 player, head phones, cell phone, door keys and fanny pack because there are no pockets in the skirt I am wearing) I thought that I would walk a little farther than I usually do and go to PAULS ( a ice cream shop that's open in the summer here in town) and get a cone to eat walking back to the house. So I grabbed some money to add to my fanny pack essentials.
I figured all the walking would cancel out the calories in the cone I was planning to buy and anyway I was only going to order a small vanilla cone, I reasoned with myself. For some reason I hit one of those depressed spells I take, and so I thought that a cone would help lift my spirits.
I got down to PAULS and there were two people ahead of me. As I got in line standing outside, I started looking at the different items PAULS had painted on the building and ALL of them looked so good. My resolve to get a small vanilla cone began to weaken. I was still debating with myself what to get when the waitress said," and what can I get for you, Hon?" Before I knew what had happened I blurted out " A carmel pecan cone with two scoops". Oh, well , maybe I will walk the calories off from this cone as well.( yeah, and pigs fly, too).
I paid $2.65 for my "carmel pecan cone, with two scoops" and began the walk back to my house. It had been kinda cool all day, with a small breeze blowing. Made for a really great walking day but not too great for walking with a cone day.
The cone began to melt at a rapid pace and I had to lick real fast to keep up with it. Now, PAULS is east from my house, so I had to walk west to get back home. At 6:45 in the evening the sun is just eye level when you are walking west. I couldn't see a ding dong blasted thing until I would hit a spot with 2 or 3 trees in a row . I was just hoping there wasn't a big rock or tree root or anything like that in the pathway or sure as shootin' I would trip over it and fall flat on my face.
I thought that I was keeping up with the melting cone, when I felt a cold splash on my shin. I had to start licking at a rapid rate of speed to keep it from dripping all over me. I finally got ahead of the drip and could stop and wipe the ice cream from my shin, but the rapid licking had caused me to get choked and I coughed about 15 times before I could stop. I tried to keep licking the cone between coughs but Just as I was getting the cough under control, I felt a cold spot on my toe. Yes, you are right, more ice cream had gotten away from my tongue. I had gotten the cone down to the rim of the cone by now and so I could stop and wipe the ice cream off my toe. Luckily for me, I had grabbed a couple extra napkins when I had gotten my cone.
Now, you would think that this had been enough trouble for me but the coughing spell had caused my nose to start running. Now I am walking, licking and sniffing. Not a real comfortable situation. My nose is really having a running fit. I am afraid I will run out of air between the licking and sniffing and walking..
I finally get the ice cream into the cone and in a few minutes the troublesome problem is solved. My nose on the other hand is going into full speed ahead mode. Like I said, I had grabbed extra napkins so with the ice cream gone, I had a hand free to wipe my nose with.( I had to carry my MP3 player in one hand and with the ice cream cone in the other I had no hand to wipe my nose)
I am nearing the end of my journey as I can see the street sign for my street ahead so I think I will have a nice pleasant little walk the rest of the way home, even if my nose is still running like a sugar tree. All of a sudden the ligament in the back of my knee and the muscle in my hip try to lock up on me. I have been having this happen occasionally but why now of all times. Now I am limping and sniffing as I am trying to walk home. I begin saying, " I think I can, I think I can" as I try to get home without having to crawl on my knees.
But God is still on His throne in heaven and had mercy on me for I make it to my driveway and my hip and knee are even doing better,( not well but better). I round the corner of the driveway headed for the back door and refuge and think to myself " I don't even know if that ice cream cone was worth it" but then I think , Well, it was awfully good. I might even try it again one day.